Felicia Mülbaier MFA

"Hartmud Böhme said 'We dream of journeys through the universe: isn't the universe within us?' 
This quotation explains very well how we are on the search for something that is always outside. But perceiving the inside could already bring the surrounded world inside of us and to perceive our self, I think that we don't see subjects how they are, I think we see how we are and I'm absent. I'm an absent human, I try to observe and to understand encounters.

By searching for what absence is, I realised that it is how I perceive, it is a personal way of view, how I compare things together. A left over, a found piece something dissolving can be seen as the piteous state of a subject. The pitiful thing which leaves a note. Piteous because it always has the story inside that it was once something but it isn't anymore. The subject seems to lose everything, its function and reason of use, turned into a left over. Or it already appears like that. What we perceive now from the outside, was all the time inside. The condition of perception changed. It can be seen as something true, the substance of an occurrence. By collecting the different states and materialisation of absence, it distracts other things out of their function out of their natural order. But it shows relationships and emphasizes the being. 
[...] 
Through the appearance of absence, not reality is get created, it only shows a left over from the past. This can be shown by the change of surface traces or colour. To perceive the fade of colour is one of the first things, I recognize. A dirty white, which gives me the information on how It could be if it would have never made the connection to the world, if white would still be creation. The sound which is always attending is described as silence. We learned that silence according to absence is not a sound, it is the components of noises which are created by life. With the appearance of silence, it means according to absence the sound of the inwardness of the observer. Concentration and awareness create the sound. To perceive absence means to realise the linger of subjects, to feel through silence the own linger.

Absence is not touchable only feelable by observing or space in-between. The change of material into a lingering state of condition. To linger means to stay between subjects, to show the time and space, to rest in between events, to linger because it has not urgent to become something, it is a leftover with possibilities to create. The only limitation which absence gives its self is the creation of traces. This is the materialized leftover of its condition. There are fixed and floating conditions of absence. A fixed condition of absence is a trace related to the material. It appears on or through the material. A floating condition of absence is created through perception, recognized in inwardness, recognized by the description of silence. Both are lingering, one is physical tangible and the other is based on sensations."

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